A NETFLIX ORIGINAL SERIES
GOOD ENTERTAINMENT GOOD NEWS
[YouTuber] Yi-Hang Xu is no doubt the hottest new star
in several drama series.
Even when he's not working, drama follows him in his relationships.
After he was seen canoodling with the Triad's daughter in public,
we can only assume Ling Yun has been dumped.
Inside sources reveal that the Triad's daughter
had been following him around and managing all his daily routines.
His fans are heartbroken over this secret relationship.
[Boss Ni] Gui!
Boss Ni, what's cooking?
What the fuck is this?
Well, from the looks if it...
mm...
-I have no idea... -Thousands of men in Cosmos gang!
You're pathetic!
Why does the paparazzi know where my daughter is but you idiots don't?
-After all I've given you! -[Gui groans]
[Gui coughing]
[breathless] Boss Ni, just relax.
I will get Missy home. I promise.
Can you not fuck up for once?
[gulps]
[sighs]
SCENE 50 - THE PARKING LOT
[doorbell rings]
-[Kwong sighs] -[Angie gasps]
What the hell are you doing here?
Yi-Hang!
-[Angie sighs] -[Kwong] Yi-Hang Xu!
Where is he?
I really don't know.
Uh... So...
Who are you guys and where the hell are you taking me?
Yi-Hang Xu,
don't wet your pants just yet.
[laughing maniacally]
Boss Ni, I got the movie star.
Sit his ass down.
[Yi-Hang grunts]
I suggest you try not to piss him off, OK?
[chuckles] Don't blink.
[Boss Ni sniffs]
Do you know who I am?
Sorry, no.
I am Kun Ni...
the Cosmos gang boss.
Angie is
my only daughter.
[gasps] Oh... Uncle...
We're not related!
Boss Ni.
Now, you're screwing my daughter.
But you already have a hot celebrity girlfriend.
How many women do you need to fool around with?
Now, the whole world thinks my daughter is your mistress.
Boss Ni...
Sir...
Angie is my only girlfriend.
Just her.
Please, let me explain.
[Boss Ni sighs]
The public thinks that my girlfriend is Ling Yun,
but that's just for show.
It's all just marketing. It is fake news.
We were never together.
So, I'm happy about the article of Angie and me.
You're what?
Boss Ni, you see, now that Angie and I are out in the open
I have the opportunity to hold a press conference.
I'll clarify to everyone that Ling Yun and I are a fake couple...
and that Angie is my everything.
You're going to call a press conference?
Right.
To clarify that my daughter is no one's mistress.
Right.
And that she is your one and only lady.
Boss Ni, that is exactly what I want.
I can call for a conference in three hours.
I don't want to live a life without your daughter.
My daughter must have a wonderful future. I expect a commitment.
I'll make arrangements for the conference immediately.
Anything to prevent Angie from getting hurt.
[Kwong] Didn't you promise me you understood the rules?
Dammit! This is absolutely reckless. What the hell, Angie?
The only reason I hired you was to protect my clients
and now look at how vulnerable you've left them.
Don't you realize what Yi-Hang has on the line?
The entire world is breathing down his back!
Every single breath he takes is being recorded!
Try to imagine just how many people are anxiously waiting in line to replace him?
You realize the damage your girl crush has done to his reputation?
This could very likely end his career. He won't survive it!
Urgh!
[sighs]
Ms. Kwong, I knew you wouldn't agree to this,
so before I came in here
I already informed the media.
What do you mean? Are you nuts?
This is mad! What kind of freakshow do you imagine will happen?
This is all for the best.
Oh. Then, please.
Ms. Kwong...
I want to be clear, I've been honored
to have you as an agent over this past decade.
I know you genuinely love us, you take good care of us
and try to work for our best interests.
Sometimes, however, your actions don't keep our best interests at heart.
Like this bullshit news about Ling Yun and me.
We've already done what you asked us.
But everything fake eventually has to come to an end.
This had to end some time.
I have to tell you...
that Angie has completely...
changed my world.
I've never felt this in my life.
Now, when I'm happy, I genuinely feel happiness.
When I laugh, I'm really laughing with her because I don't need to be fake anymore.
Ms. Kwong,
I've thought really hard about this all.
Even if you tell me that this press conference will damage my work
and destroy my life,
I'm cool with that, I'm not afraid.
Huh.
[Yi-Hang] Ling Yun, I'm sorry I didn't talk with you first.
I hope you understand.
-Yi-Hang, I completely agree. -[Kwong scoffs]
[chuckles]
And I fully support this decision.
I'll say any truth that needs to be said at the press conference.
[cell phone beeps]
ANGIE, I KNOW WHO YOU ARE NOW, BUT IT DOESN'T MATTER
I JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW, I AM SERIOUS ABOUT YOU
PLEASE, BELIEVE ME
[reporter 1] Yi-Hang's a playboy.
[reporter 2] Is this true love or total bullshit?
[reporter 3] Are they really coming out now?
-[reporter 4] They're here. -[reporter 5] Finally.
[reporter 6] Whoa, there they are! Yi-Hang! Mr. Xu!
[Kwong] Hello.
We apologize for calling this press conference on such short notice.
This is regarding the latest gossip reports about Yi-Hang Xu and Ling Yun.
We feel that we should offer some explanation to clear things up.
[reporter 1] Mr. Xu can you explain your relationship with Ms. Ni
as depicted in the photographs that were released?
The photos clearly show that you spent the night together.
[reporter 2] Mr. Xu, have you two broken up?
Ms. Yun, do you feel betrayed? Are you seeking revenge?
[reporter 3] Ms. Ling, are you heartbroken and fragile?
Um, everyone, please, hold on. Pardon me.
To answer these questions,
I will now invite Yi-Hang Xu and Ling Yun themselves respond to each question.
[camera shutters clicking]
[reporter 3] Mr. Xu, who was that woman and did she stay the night?
[reporter 2] Mr. Xu, how long have you been cheating on Ms. Ling Yun?
Are the three of you enjoying a love triangle?
In regards to all that's featured in the article,
the truth of it is...
regarding Angie Ni and I...
we, uh...
we're not in a relationship.
[reporter 6] Why do you insist on lying to the public?
[reporter 3] But you two look so in love.
[reporter 1] How can you be so heartless?
[reporter 2] How can you deny this affair?
I assure you, she's just our new assistant.
[reporter 1] What story are you selling?
We live in a world where stories are published without need for actual facts,
but that has consequences.
This harmed our company, myself, our families and Ms. Angie Ni.
We're all tired of this nonsense.
So, I'm requesting that you put an end to these rumors.
[reporter 4] Who's paying you to lie?
[Kwong] Alright. Sorry. That's all.
[reporter 1] But how do you explain these sexy photos?
[reporter 2] Thanks for nothing.
[he groans]
FACE LIFE'S CHALLENGES, LIVE WITHOUT REGRETS
BLACK WAR SCRIPT BY YI-HANG XU
[Nana] Angie Ni! You're a goddamn hellraiser.
I'm gonna need a hip replacement after cleaning up your love affair.
I'm sorry, Nana.
It won't happen again.
[Nana] What's with the baggage?
Think you can escape the mess you made?
Listen, before I leave,
I really need to ask you a favor.
This script is extremely important to Yi-Hang.
Could you please slip this to Ms. Kwong, please?
[Nana sighs]
Will you be OK?
[Nana sighs]
Call me, text me, tweet me anytime.
-Call Angie. -[phone beeps]
ANGIE
[ringing tone]
[automated voice] The number you have dialed is unavailable.
-Call Angie. -[phone beeps]
[ringing tone]
[automated voice] The number you have dialed is...
I advise before you make this reckless decision,
before you hold this childish press conference
and before you walk up to that self-indulgent stage...
take a good look.
Even if you and Angie truly love each other,
both your lives will only get more complicated.
Once your relationship goes public,
Angie will be under attack,
trolled by paparazzi without mercy.
Put yourself in her shoes for a minute.
Do you really want Angie to deal with that intense scrutiny?
ANGIE
[ringing tone]
[cell phone ringing]
[melancholic music playing]
[cell phone continues ringing]
[automated voice] If you would like to leave a message,
please wait after the beep.
If you're a lying little bitch, please hang up.
Hi, Dad.
[Boss Ni] Angie, darling, are you ready to come home now?
I'm sorry.
I wanna come home.
[thunder rumbling]
[melancholic music continues]
[man] Hi, Angie. It's been too long.
[Yi-Hang] Angie?
[ringing tone]
GOODBYE, MARTIAN
[Yi-Hang whispers] Shit.
[Chin] Oh, the sooner we have this wedding, the better.
My friends and enemies in Hong Kong are awaiting their invitation.
[Chin and Boss Ni laugh]
Brother Chin, no one wants to see these kids married more than I,
but perhaps before we spend our sweaty cash
on wedding arrangements
the kids should spend some time together.
Date a little?
Kun Ni, you implying that they're a poor match in hell?
-[laughs] -Oh, you're always so dramatic.
I think they are a fairytale match,
but millennials today like to feel in command.
They just want to move at their own pace.
Oh, alright. Let them find their feelings.
They'll discover such heat for each other,
they'll want to organize the wedding themselves.
We'll just unbuckle our belts and enjoy a free dinner.
[both laugh]
Good, Eddie? Does that work for you?
Uncle, whenever Angie is ready, I'm ready.
Angie, what do you think?
Angie?
I...
Mm... Why not?
[chuckles] Wonderful.
Now, you and I can sink into some fine bottles of wine.
Let them fish out their feelings for each other.
[Chin laughs] Cheers.
-[Chin] OK. -[Boss Ni] How about a '68 Burgundy?
-[Chin] Ah! -[Boss Ni] The year of our first deal.
Uh...
So funny, my father and I sleeping at your house, huh?
Does that make you feel uncomfortable?
I don't care.
Make yourself at home.
We want you comfy.
Hmm.
Angie, are you disturbed by Yi-Hang Xu's press conference?
Sorry if I'm being way too forward about this.
What I'm trying to express you is,
I'm just over the moon for you.
So, I'm happy if you're happy.
Hey, Fat Eddie.
It's been forever since we last met.
How come you aren't weirded out by all of this?
[sighs] This is freaking me out.
Please, don't feel weirded out.
Isn't this just like the way we were when we were young?
You're so damn adorable.
[she sighs]
What a crock of shit.
Fuck adorable. Adorable is the last thing to describe me.
But you have changed substantially.
Can't call you fatty anymore.
You can call me whatever you want.
That old nickname...
it's for your lips only.
-[Kwong] Reservation for Ms. Ni. -Please, follow me.
Look, she's here.
Ms. Kwong.
-Something to drink? -I'm sorry, I won't be staying.
I'm very busy. I don't have time for coffee.
Please, make this quick.
Thank you for seeing me.
I wanted to apologize in person.
I'm so sorry.
Is that all?
[stutters] Well, I know I...
I really can never make up for the mess I've made.
I don't deserve your forgiveness.
I'm just asking that you...
don't take this out on Yi-Hang.
Well, you are no longer an employee,
so what happens in the company is none of your business.
Ms. Kwong, there's one more thing you deserve to hear.
[Kwong sighs]
[Angie sighs]
I wanted to share...
the story of when my mother died.
The day my mom died...
dad missed his chance to see her and say goodbye.
He felt guilty...
of a tragic misdeed...
and sunk into depression and drama.
Then one night,
he dreamed of my mother...
and she reassured him...
it wasn't a misdeed...
just a misfortune.
I think that misdeeds and misfortunes make up our whole story.
Is there anything else you feel you need to say?
Just to reassure you...
after all these years of grieving
that your son's death is nobody's fault...
it's merely a misfortune...
because the other day,
I could see clearly...
the love you share with your ex-husband.
He's got so much love for you.
-Since you supported me, I just... -Are you done?
[man] Welcome!
YI-HANG XU SEEN MAKING OUT WITH TRIAD PRINCESS
-[Yi-Hang] Excuse me. -[man 1] You can't be here!
[Yi-Hang] What exactly are you doing to this park?
Can't you leave this portion of the park intact?
We have to tear it all down. We're renovating it.
At least, don't move the elephant. It's not hurting anyone. Leave it here.
[man] That's impossible. We have to reconstruct so it's up code.
-It's all coming down. -Or maybe I'll call your employer?
Or the CEO of your company? I want to buy this elephant here!
Mr. Xu, I can't believe you'd stoop so low.
-What's going on with you? Come on. -Wait, I'll buy it! You have no right!
-Get this guy outta here! I've had enough! -No wait, please! I just want to save it!
Hey, hey, hey! Chill! Chill! Whoa!
Officers, perfect timing!
This actor right here is preventing us from doing our job!
-He's obstructing our demolition work! -No, hold on!
-He's harassing us. -Why are you interfering with their work?
They can fuck up whatever they want, but I want to buy and save that elephant.
Please, don't destroy it.
-I can buy it now. -Mister Xu, it's a public park.
It's not for sale, even for celebrities.
Well, I can call whomever.
-[stutters] Why can't I buy it? -Impossible.
Please back up Mr. Xu.
Calm down and save your energy for your two girlfriends.
That's it Mr. Xu.
-He's done. You can work now. -[men] Thanks, officer.
[Yi-Hang] The fuck do you mean?
-How dare you? -[indistinct arguing]
[officer 1] Are you attacking the police?
[indistinct arguing]
[officer 1] Have you lost your mind? This isn't a movie set.
-[Yi-Hang] I'll have you fired by tonight! -[indistinct yelling]
[man 2] Are you crazy? Fuck. You were my hero.
[Eddie] Doesn't this look just like it did when we were kids?
No.
It's changed a lot.
DRIP COFFEE
Oh, yeah. I used to stuff my fat little face there.
Can I buy you anything?
[man 3] Hey, Jenny...
[girl] Daddy, can you please give me that elephant?
Win it for me. Please, please, please.
How about a gift?
No, thanks.
I thought that game was dumb even as a kid.
Come on, it will be nostalgic.
Just one round.
Ma'am, we'll have one round, please.
[Angie sighs]
How about that elephant? I'll win it for you.
-I hope you're not shooting for me. -I promise.
That sweet little thing has your name on it.
A token from our past.
I like to win things on my own.
For you. A soda pop blast from our past.
Thanks.
You want it, you have to win it.
[chuckles] Gotcha. I'm just kidding. Hmm?
[she chuckles]
Why did you buy just one?
Soda drinks are sugar heaven.
It was a nightmare to lose all that weight.
Don't wanna do that again.
Little weird.
When did you start watching your weight?
Girly for a dude.
Nothing girly about it.
I was as serious about my promise as few men are.
-What promise? -[Eddie] Don't you remember?
That day you laughed at me for being fat and ugly.
[she laughs]
You said you would only marry me if I lost all that elephant fat.
[she splutters and coughs]
[Angie] Sorry I said that shit.
Anyway...
earlier you wondered how was it that so many years have gone by
and yet, I don't feel embarrassed around you.
That's because it was not just puppy love, Angie -
-my love is the real deal. -I got this for you.
So, when I lose weight, will you marry me forever?
Yeah.
Can I say you're my girlfriend now?
I guess. But you have to keep telling me how skinny and pretty I am.
Sugar high.
[she sighs]
[Kwong] I'm sorry.
[Yi-Hang sighs]
Hey! Have you completely lost your mind?
[he sighs]
Sorry.
I don't need an apology, I need an explanation.
Is this some stupid self-destructive way of getting even with me?
Are you trying to make me drop you as a client?
[Yi-Hang] Ms. Kwong, I don't wanna do that.
-You've done a lot for me and I'm... -Stop it!
This shit needs to end before it destroys everything we worked for.
Really.
Are you aware of how deranged you're acting?
I'm just madly in love with Angie.
Since I was a teenager, my whole life has just been work, work.
We have totally forgotten about the importance of love.
Is it he nuts or am I fucking crazy?
Where are the cameras hiding? Are you in a goddamn melodrama?
Ms. Kwong, don't you remember what it's like to fall in love?
My fucked up life is not the problem here!
I can't live like this anymore. That's why I needed the police to help me!
What the hell are you talking about?
When I'm outside I can't control myself so I made the police lock me up in hell!
[grunts]
Forget her!
Pull your shit together and forget her.
Her father told me she's getting married soon.
[Yi-Hang panting]
-[man 1] Sir, can I help you? -Yeah.
-I'd like to see Angie. -Ms. Angie?
-Yeah. -Do you know where you are?
-Please, can you let me through? -You should get lost.
-I really need to see her. -Come on, guy. Get the hell outta here.
-[Yi-Hang grunts] Angie! -[man 2] Hey!
-[man 1] Get the hell outta here! -Angie!
[man 1] Who do you think you are?
[Yi-Hang] Angie!
[man 3] Do you wanna die? Get lost!
This is your last warning! Stupid actor!
-Report it. -[Yi-Hang panting]
[Ding Ding panting]
[Gui] ♪ So nice, I'd dip it thrice ♪
Mm-mm!
[continues panting]
[Gui] Hi, my darling. [chuckles]
-Hi! -[Ding Ding] Almost finished.
Then, how about some midnight snacks? We can hang out at your place or mine.
Appetizing, but I can't.
It's meet-the-parents time.
The Golden Dragon Triad is staying with the Ni's,
so Boss wants are asses on lockdown for the next 24 hours.
[in English accent] Ugh! We must provide the future in-laws
with the Downton Abbey experience, dear sir.
So, Angie's gonna marry that old fatty?
Negative, honey bunny.
The young boss...
has a fine figure,
a finer looking face,
and oodles of money.
Hello! Cha-ching! Cha-ching!
That boy's a walking wet dream that anyone would kill to bathe in.
[Ding Ding growls]
You're my one and only.
-That's a good boy! -[Gui giggles]
But how is Angie feeling about all this?
She's playing show pony for now.
Angie's trying to do right.
She's saving her father's anxious ass
while trying to distract herself from that douchey golden boy.
[Gui groans]
Poor thing's totally heartbroken.
[Ding Ding sighs]
-Whoa. -Hmm?
It's a goddamn mess of a ménage à trois.
Yi-Hang really shit the bed. That little bitch!
That chicken-shit speech on TV,
he just douched himself up.
And for what? God.
That's entertainment, you know?
See. It's just how the world goes round.
Some people stay real, some people lose their shit.
[Gui] Hmm.
Maybe if Yi-Hang wasn't crazy famous,
do you think Angie and him could stand a chance?
End up as happy as us?
Happily ever after.
[both giggling]
All their melodrama got me so emotional.
[Gui] Oh.
A song just started pouring out of me.
It's called, "Angel Loves Elephant."
[singing in Chinese]
[continues singing in Chinese]
[romantic music playing]
[they giggle]
What did you think?
Heaven.
[Ding Ding chuckles softly]
[chuckles] I'm sorry.
I can't help myself.
-[Ding Ding chuckles] -Please, please, please.
-No one's here. -[Ding Ding chuckles]
You can give me one smooch.
-[chuckles] After work. -[Gui giggles]
[Yi-Hang sighs]
-[gate opens] -Angie!
Angie! Please, hear me out! Let me explain, darling angel!
[man 1] Fuck off!
-[man 2] Come on! -[Yi-Hang] I love you!
Wanna help the poor guy out?
[Yi-Hang] I love you!
No.
Angie...
[she sighs]
Will you be alright?
I'm fine!
Have a good night.
TO SOPHIA -
BLACK WAR SCRIPT BY XU YI-HANG
A.I. SMART COMPANION
[Ta-Hui] They want me to head my own R&D team.
And the dream of building interactive robots for children...
A.I. SMART COMPANION
INCOMING CALL - SOPHIA KWONG
Hi. What's going on?
[Kwong] Nothing special.
I was curious when you were leaving for the States?
Next week.
So soon?
[sighs] Mm-hmm.
I was surprised, too.
Oh.
Uh, I was just wondering...
while you're working over there,
who'll buy our son's robots with me?
I'd hoped to return for that.
Good.
What's wrong?
You don't sound like yourself.
Didn't you say only a...
moron would ignore an opportunity in America?
I love morons.
[romantic music playing]
[she sighs]
[music continues playing]
[Angie breathes deeply]
[she sighs]
Morning.
How did you sleep last night?
Mm... Not too shitty.
Hmm. Enjoy!
[Angie whispers] Whoa.
This breakfast is fucking insane.
I learned how to make breakfast while studying at Oxford.
Not so easy,
but I can teach you.
[sighs] No, I suck.
I'm only good at eating.
-[chuckles] -Nah.
But I'm happy to be your personal chef.
[she breathes deeply]
[she sighs]
I don't wanna...
lead you on.
I think of you as a really good friend.
I'm flattered.
We have time to get better acquainted. I'm not one for pushing.
No rush. Easy does it.
[she sighs]
Dig in.
[Yi-Hang sighs]
SOON TO BE DEMOLISHED
[sighs]
Hang in there, brother.
Tonight, we shall be released...
and Angie will join us in freedom.
[Eddie] Angie...
Can I take you to visit Hong Kong with me?
I... I think maybe not.
[Eddie] They say, "Change your space, change your luck."
I mean it -
I just want you to feel good.
I'm happy if you're happy.
[cell phone beeps]
[Yi-Hang] Angie, darling...
tonight at midnight...
please, let's meet.
I'm going upstairs.
[Yi-Hang] I'll be waiting for you at the elephant slide.
[tires screeching]
[van door opens]
[Ling] What the hell? Fuck off!
Let me go, motherfuckers!
[she screams]
[cell phone ringing]
Hey, Ling Yun!
[Guo] Oh, hello.
Are you looking for Ling Yun?
She's right beside me. [laughs]
Where?
[Guo chuckles] The recycling factory.
[cell phone beeps]